Communication and conversation. Two very different concepts.

Communication – something everyone does. I do not listen to anyone who tells me another human being does not communicate. Everyone communicates on some level. It may be an eyebrow that raises or a look or simply how a person moves.

Conversation on the other hand is complex, and a completely different skill set in itself.

Conversation evokes two way interaction.

We may initiate communicate to have basic needs met, or to express, to show feelings or needs of person.

To empower an individual with a resource or tool or strategy can make a difference to all aspects of communication and how needs are met, but how active participation can be promoted.

We can create an environment and many opportunities to instigate communication and lead into conversation that is engaging and useful.

We need to know how a person communicates.

How a person prefers to be responded to

How a person wants to have a conversation.

What a conversation means to them

How to develop skills to truly become an effective communicator

And what communication itself means to an individual.

YANA has started to develop a series of resources that will be available to down load or be purchased.

Communication aids

Strategies

Activities

Resources and

Bespoke packages to meet the needs of the person requiring the resource.

Contact us if you have any questions.

Keep an eye on the web page for the products that you can access.

A wonderful but quite profound thought.

A question to ask…

Are we like our children?… as opposed to are our children like us?

Having navigated through life without any formal diagnosis until being 40+ I realised through the observation of my child that I was just like him. Not the other way round. And that was simply because I had never recognised my differences as anything but quirks or challenges. When I could see the traits in my child that were eventually labelled and identified as being part of a condition therefore having actual reasons, that I realised that my child was infact leading the way for me.

To realise that so much later in life was truly a revelation. Unanswered questions immediately apparent with answers that gave me a sense of relief and gratitude. I started to understand myself.

We share the quirks and need for routine and the whole emotional over load, the closed perceptions and the ability to hyper focus. A million other traits that if understood can be used to benefit future decisions and choices.

I could see it quickly in my child and raising him in a society that was open to supporting Assessment and diagnosis made me realise the needs that required a relentless battle and I dug deep and fought hard. A very different world than the one I was exposed to. I was lucky. I never considered myself that different as I had a very supportive mum who clearly supported and guided me to accept who I was but work to my strengths.

As time progressed and I understood what was happening and the concept opened up that I infact was the same.

Leading the way to find solutions and strategies was vital for my child progress and development but all of this could be used and implemented for me.

I understood him and started to see that I understood myself. Which I had not even touched on as I grew up.

I realised I radiated towards people who could be my anchor, people supportive of my boundless energy and opinion. I carved a career that allowed me to be active and be creative and hid in this world. Had I been in a more suppressive working environment stagnant in one area I would have struggled.

I looked within and saw I did infact have the answers for me and him.

So it opened up a huge world and new concepts and reasons!!!!

So I will always be quite grateful and appreciative that I’m like my child!!!

It’s that time again. The raising expectations of full fun days bursting with activities and ideas to entertain the children.

You plan and search ‘what’s on’ but left wondering about the reality when you actually visualise the way the day would probably work out.

Don’t plan too far in advance as the anxiety will escalate quickly.

Don’t leave the planning too last minute as no one is fully prepared.

Look at theatre shows, days out, tours, activities and jam packed adventure days.

What you tend to be left with is trying to figure out how the hour you actually will have in reality, on your day out will be best spent. An hour based on the reality that the getting out of the door will be a trauma, the convincing that it could possibly be a good idea, and then at arrival knowing this hour is actually pushing it. The hour that starts to look more like forty five minutes as the place you have decided to go is busy, and loud and no pre trial run happened to prepare engagement in any activity. So you watch the other people join in and spend time talking through what’s happening, looking around as your child has walked off, or had a melt down – and no convincing will make the activities actually look fun.

So back In the car you wonder why you do it. Your exhaustion starting to show, the familiar words ‘why’ echoing around your head and the silent vow to yourself you can’t do this again …. But you know why. That the effort can’t ever stop being put in and you can’t stop having ideas and you can’t ever stop trying. You know why you do it because you know you can’t ever stop offering opportunity and you know that it starts to expose the world and find the way to empower your child. You know why you do it in the end.

So when you reflect – you hear your child actually enjoyed it in their own way. The drink was nice that they had or the car on the motorway was one not seen yet and maybe the next time you go now that your child has seen what it’s like- then maybe they will join in

So a week of adventures to have ahead…. but a different type of adventure… deep breath taken!!!

You know when you are broken and exhausted and your body feels like it’s been drained, your mind is full of cotton wool and you forget to do the most simplest of tasks…. but somehow you keep going!!?!?

How? When you try to find the coffee jar but you have put it in the fridge instead of the milk, and you desperately feel exhausted at the thought of mustering up the energy to eat… but you face the storms and yet another challenge thrown your way.

You, like many parents, battle and stand up even when your legs are buckling .. you smile but at the same time you are screaming inside.

You face the day and night and both merge together.

You no longer remember what a social life is, what a friend is and whilst the idyllic lives of many are splashed across social media you feel grateful to just collapse on your bed.

Looking in the past to remember how life was becomes a distant memory and looking too far forward becomes an over whelming torturous concept.

You drag yourself through the day and hold onto the few minutes where your mind might be still and calm with nothing to plan, or develop strategies or nothing to worry about.

You juggle work and people, fight off the sensory over load you feel from simply being around people.

You accept your lifestyle gracefully but with exasperation.

Not once do you think negative of your circumstance but just have the ongoing acceptance or is it more like tolerance of the many inept people around.

You despair at the appointments and yet another discussion that delves into your home environment, your parenting style, and the ins and outs of every move you make. You wonder if anyone else feels like they are on a stage and watched and judged. You look amongst the people claiming to be the right person to help but sigh a huge long despairing sigh.

But you know what .. you carry on because you are a warrior.

You carry on because you can, because you need to and because you want to.

The skills you carry are outstanding, elite and far more amazing than you would ever admit or even acknowledge.

Your drive and motivation to provide the strength and safety to your family far exceeds the concept of ever giving up.

You are quite amazing!!!

So you celebrate the ones who are always there. The ones that pick you up and brush you off and get you back on your feet to face another day. You thank the one who has taken the time to cook your tea and offer you the love that is truly unconditional. You are refuelled and ready to face whatever is next.

So if we have that one person, remember they are awesome too!!

YANA has started to gather strategies that we use with our families and children, and also the many useful ideas for resources.

YANA is making these resources and now calling on people who may like to help to review and be part of developing them. To see what works and what doesn’t, and aim to bespoke the resources to be truly personal to the individuals we support.

If you are interested in helping let us know through a message.

 

So here is a picture of what multi agency team working can look like…

A million people all in their boxes within their boundaries working on their areas of expertise in isolation but coming together when a meeting is called however still working in boxes within their areas and still in isolation falling in their areas of responsibility. Rigidly separated due to authority and budgets.

Joining up methods of working are actually rare despite what we read in the glossy pamphlets and booklets that introduce yet another service. Treating a family holistically and a child overall extremely rare whilst we know our child is a whole and not Little parts.

Every referral into a service taking different waiting time durations and none working collaboratively. None really being accessed at the same time so joined up working becoming more of an empty statement.

Not the one stop shop we need … not the joined up sharing of information required. So we go to our tenth appointment with the tenth professional and discuss the whole history of our journey again. Only to be told it will take approx 5-6 months on a waiting list anyway. So we’ve lost a days pay and built up anxiety over the appointment for nothing really.

A child becomes parts certainly not a whole.

Can we not develop services to be realistic in meeting needs. To stop metaphorically slicing our children into bits where they are dealt with separately.

How do we want it look. Any ideas?

So many parents have struggled to maintain any employment when caring for children with needs.

This article focuses on this and getting children to school.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/parents-disabled-handicapped-children-disability-benefits-cut-school-transport-working-hours-a7938786.html%3famp

Hate crime has been on the increase. Targeting children with disabilities is low and unforgivable. News in October 2017 reported on this.

If anyone witnesses this we must report and ensure our children are safe

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-41600137